Ciao, Ciao, Lovely People!! It’s the 15-year anniversary of my first poem, and #VerseAngel is 9 years old today, which is coincidentally, World Poetry Day!! It’s also the first celebration on this blog. Last Year, in the late summmertime, I finally got around to setting up a domain name and self-hosted WordPress site. So far, it’s very basic in its appearance, and I haven’t been able to do much with it, BUT it had taken me a little over two years at that point, so, for me, it’s been a critical step. If you aren’t coming over from my old blog, then each year, I would put out an anniversary post with a picture of a birthday cake or cupcakes, but sometimes I felt left out of my own party because I have an egg allergy, but when I turned 40, I discovered that there was an egg-free cake shop in my locality… However, I had reached a milestone outside of my writing, and I felt kinda fancy, so, I started posting birthday charcuterie boards. I LOVE this idea more because there are lots of possibilities!! Oooh, and less than a week after last year’s World Poetry Day, I even wrote a poem about desserts… Well, it is and it isn’t about desserts!!
I have also had increased my endeavours to publish my collection of poems and short stories, Scent Of Scorched Feathers. Before I could do that, I was able to make peace very quickly with the reality of being rejected lots before somebody said Yes, and created “100 Noes”. Ideally, I want somebody to say Yes, and not to be rejected so many times, but if my experience of trying to find “conventional” work and steadiness is anything to go by, I’m on another gruelling path. I’m fortunate enough to be somewhat aware of how delicate my self-confidence is, how much of a beating it’s taken over the years, and how much work I’ve had to do to rebuild it… and it still isn’t all there. BUT this reframing helps me a great deal because somewhere in it is an understanding that being here is within itself an accomplishment, a testament to my resilience, capacity to hold faith and persevere.
I haven’t hosted #VerseAngel poetry prompts for quite a while – Almost 3 YEARS, IIRC, but I have thought about bringing it back, perhaps under a different hashtag. I made a point of researching a never-used-before hashtag and creating a unique handle without numbers and underscores when I founded #VerseAngel on Twitter/X in 2016, but also had to deal with lots of religious troll accounts misusing it for Holy Scripture quotes and other content that’s inappropriate. There’s also the question of where, because I’ve also been disturbed and disillusioned with that site’s ownership. I would really love to reach 1000 prompts, and I’m just under 400 away from getting there, but it will take time. Publication and my blog are the main goals, so, I can’t commit fully at the moment, and won’t make promises.
For the first time in 16 years, I returned to journaling, as I received a diary for Christmas in 2023. I’m delighted to report that I made it to the end of it, AND although I didn’t have to, I wrote in it every day. I was going to try and do it again in 2025, but I became quite ill for some time, first with what I thought was a cold, but feeling very weak after that, losing about a stone as well as my appetite. Perhaps I’ll try later in the year, or pick up a blank journal without lines and dates in it, so that I can draw, doodle and break out my colouring pencils, which I have a blog post about in my unpublished drafts, but need to reread before I publish it on here.
I’m getting a lot better at listening to my body, and taking rests when I’m tired. The man in the mirror needed to remember that resting is writing, those moments when you don’t put a pen to paper are part of the process, and to reject the idea that one always has to be “productive”, especially in a world that doesn’t see me, or adapt or accommodate for me. There are constant pressures which come with that, to the point where it can become harder to function, and one can fall into the trap of internalising thoughts of not being “good enough”, of not being enough. This year, I will be 28 years a diagnosed dyspraxic. It wasn’t lost on me that the Dyspraxia Foundation closed its doors in 2024, and this year will be a decade since I started speaking more openly about it, and dyspraxic adult life.
It also hasn’t been lost on me that there is a general assault by British parliamentarians of the day (of red, blue, and light blue persuasions) on disability and neurodivergent groups. Before the General Election, I wrote a poem called “The Indifference Of Change” in response, and declared it an act of resistance and rebellion. Part of the work on my self-confidence and finding my voice included the intention to be louder, not always go quietly and pick my moments, which don’t necessarily have to be the perfect ones. I feel I’m at a point where I’m more secure in who I am – After a lifetime of being discouraged from disclosing my learning disability to prospective employers or in public circles, I have it right there in my socials (Creative. Dyspraxic. Lots More). It’s neither a condition I am ashamed of, nor one that makes me less of a human being. I also believe it’s given me a greater capacity to be more empathetic, understanding, compassionate, and respond to challenges from a unique perspective.
Grazie Mille to everybody for following me, whatever site you’re on, for sticking around, for showing up and listening to me in spaces I’ve hosted or spoken in, the positive critical reception, waterfalls of warmth, and coffee tips I’ve received. I hope I can say that my shares and content have inspired or resonated with you, and if you’re visiting my blog and socials for the first time, Hello, Welcome, and thanks for reading. I appreciate it.
x x x x x x x x Love Angel Page: Creative. Dyspraxic. Lots More… 🎈🎉💕✨🍍🍎🍊🍋🍐🍓🫐🍇🧀🥨🍞🍿🍬🍫🍭🍪🎶👏💥🔥🎁🎂
